Watching “This Is Us” has spawned new dawn of life lessons about love and relationships. I wrote an article about my fears of marriage and motherhood, but now I want to dwell on how people think being nice is a compatibility factor. Beth consistently rebuffed Randall but he never took her reservations seriously. His niceness and compassion were a bit overwhelming. How can you really say no to the nicest guy in the room? Although it worked out for them it really made me think about some of the relationships I have been in, with people that were “nice” or “sweet as pie”. He just wasn’t for me is my answer, and I used to think something was wrong with me because they seemed great and that I was broken.
I am also reminded of how I see proposals and “promposals” online where a girls says no and then people immediately bash her. Sis, I am here to tell you that you have the right to refuse anything that you want to refuse. Often we stay in situations that are not the best for our spirits and souls because a person seems to be nice “on paper”. He has a good job, nice to his fam, and is responsible. Those are awesome traits but if there is no passion, no driving magnet of love, what is the point? I am not obligated to love who does not make my heart sing. And that does not make me a bad person. I am not saying be with someone who treats you like dirt, but don’t settle for just “nice”. Be with someone whose niceness doesn’t put you in a compromising position.
A combination of personality traits must sit well with who you are. Do not be guilted into love or anything else because society says that you should be grateful for a certain type of person. Love who you want to love and without regret. Follow your heart, not standards from strangers. Be with someone who respects boundaries and respects your strength. Just like Beth, you deserve.
*featured photo by Jasmine Wallace via Nappy.co
Singin' Blackbird 
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